Relocate?
Question
Should we leave our current city? If yes — when, where to, and how.
Dimensions
- Location / lifestyle — what’s wrong with the current city, what’s wanted instead. Climate, density, pace, nature access, social fabric.
- Wife — joint decision. Not Denys’s call alone. Her stance is the dominant constraint until known.
- Son — schooling continuity, friends, language, stability during formative years.
- Work / income — current income source’s geographic constraints. Remote-friendly? Tax implications of moving?
- Nature-business viability — nature-business is values-aligned around nature / body / grounding. Different locations enable or block this very differently.
- Financial runway — what’s the cushion for a move, and what does the $350K-by-2031 target imply about timing?
Constraints
- ? Wife’s current stance on leaving / on candidate destinations.
- ? Son’s school year and any school-change windows.
- ? Income geographic dependencies (employer, contracts, tax residency).
- ? Financial runway / move cost.
Options
(Empty. To be populated as candidate destinations emerge. Not Claude’s to invent.)
Current lean
Denys wants out. No specifics on where, when, or how. Not yet aligned with wife. As of 2026-06-29. Push is loaded, pull is blank (2026-07-11): strong away-force from delft, no nameable toward-force for anywhere else. A move decided on push alone risks reproducing the gap, since a large part of what’s being fled (loneliness tier-gap, offline pull-sense) is portable.
Open sub-questions
- What is actually wrong with the current city? Name the specific dissatisfactions — without these, no destination can be evaluated.
- What would a good answer to “where instead” look like? What are the must-haves vs. nice-to-haves?
- What is wife’s stance, and what does she need to even open the conversation?
- What’s son’s situation that constrains timing (school year, language, peer group)?
- Is the desire to leave actually about place, or is it about something the current city happens to symbolize? (Geographic restlessness as a pattern worth watching.)
Decision log
- 2026-06-29 — Question raised. No options, no alignment with wife, no specifics yet. Filed as a big question rather than an inbox item because of multi-dimensional and multi-person nature.
- 2026-07-11 — Push without pull, confirmed on the geography axis (2026-07-11). Anna asked what Denys wants from a new place; he couldn’t answer — “I don’t know, it’s just not THIS.” Same shape as the category-level pull-deficit on find-pull, now specific to place. Answers this page’s own sub-questions (“what would a good answer to ‘where instead’ look like?” / “is it about place or what the city symbolizes?”) with: no toward-answer exists yet, and the fled conditions (missing friends/community tier per loneliness, offline pull-sense) are portable. Live risk logged: a move on push alone likely reproduces the gap elsewhere. Doesn’t argue against moving — argues that a move can’t be the whole fix, and “what do I want there” must be answered before deciding.